Sample Chapter:

Do It Yourself Wedding Planning

There is something empowering about handling it all yourself.

When the wedding and reception are all over, and you and your groom are basking in the glory of your new union, you will look back on all the planning and details which went into everything and feel pretty darn proud of everything you have accomplished.

You should make sure, though, that taking care of everything yourself is actually something you can do without getting overwhelmed or driving everyone around you nuts.

You will probably get assistance from friends and family, and since there are plenty of resources about how to plan a wedding it certainly isn’t something which you can’t do without a professional wedding planner.

Doing it yourself can also be a nightmare. Do you have issues with delegating tasks out to other people?

If you are the kind of person who truly feels as though the only way to get things done correctly is to do them yourself then you will probably find yourself up until all hours of the night, putting birdseed into mesh pouches or keeping track of the RSVP list.

Unless you have quit your job and made wedding planning your full time task you may find that taking care of everything on your own can get awfully overwhelming.

Before you decide to take this task on as a solo project remember that there are all sorts of people who are probably just waiting to have you ask them for some help.

People take it as a compliment to be asked to help in something special like a wedding.

You may be pleasantly surprised to find that menial tasks like a trip to the alterations shop or post office will be eagerly accomplished by those people who are close to you because they know they are helping take some of the burden off your shoulders.

Most of all, you should lean on your fiancé for support.

You may have to deal with the brunt of the planning since this task usually falls into the lap of the bride, but that doesn’t mean your husband-to-be can’t (or won’t) roll up his sleeves and take on some of the brunt work.

You never know…he may want to help but just doesn’t want to step on your toes by asking what he can do. You never know until you ask.

How elaborate will your wedding be? No matter how great a planner you are and no matter how much time you have on your hands there comes a point when you simply cannot do everything on your own.

If your wedding ceremony and reception will rival a royal wedding then you are more than likely going to need to bring in some professional help with the planning.

If you do not get assistance and try to take care of it all by yourself you will probably tire of the process and then wind up standing in your gown on your wedding day, simply sick of the whole process and just wanting to get it over with. This is certainly not the eventual outcome you want.

Enlist the help of a professional once you realize the planning of the wedding and reception has ceased to be fun…that’s a pretty good indicator that it’s time for some assistance.

Mothers and Mother in Laws

They have been planning for this day for a long time.

Unless you have already had children of your own you probably can’t hope to understand the ownership a parent can feel in the matter of their children’s affairs.

This feeling doesn’t necessarily diminish, as children get older, so you can’t really fault a parent for wanting to be involved in the planning process for the wedding.

Having said that, you may find yourself in the position where your mother or mother-in-law drives you a little nuts with their opinions.

As long as the annoying behavior does not become obtrusive or worthy of you breaking into tears of frustration then you might just need to smile, nod, and accept the fact that your wedding means almost as much to them as it does to you.

Who knows?

One of them might actually have some pretty sage advice for you.

If, on the other hand, you get to the point where you simply cannot handle the intrusive behavior any longer then have a heart-to-heart talk with your mom, or instead have your fiancé conduct a discussion with his mom. This is your wedding day, after all, and not theirs.

“I wore this on my wedding day.”

All the wedding planning is chugging along beautifully when all of a sudden your mom pulls a faded and frayed shawl out of her hope chest and proclaims it a family heirloom, passed down for generations to the women of the family to wear on their wedding day.

Unless the history of the shawl touches you and you wholeheartedly agree that you should incorporate it into your wedding ensemble then you will need to tread carefully into this particular territory.

Undoubtedly your mother does not want to see the tradition ended with you, and she may not be able to see the shawl as you do.

To her, it is a beautiful testament to the females in the family, but to you it’s a torn shawl, which will essentially ruin the look you are going for.

If you find yourself in this situation then you should first try to figure out a way to work the shawl into your
wedding day.

Maybe your mom would find it acceptable if you wore it for a part of the reception, or instead maybe the two of you can agree on you taking some of your portraits with the shawl wrapped around you.

You shouldn’t be forced into wearing something, which you find utterly atrocious, but you also should make every sensible effort to carry the tradition on.

You may find yourself years from now pulling the very same shawl out of a chest and showing it to your daughter as she readies for her wedding day.

This is just a 2 page sample of the 66 pages inside:

So, You're Getting Married

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